Two Year olds have microphonic screams

The thing I love the most about my son is his ability to tease. At two years old, he is a comic genius, making me laugh multiple times a day at things that I never found funny before he came along. He has the most incredible belly laugh and the most incredibly happy eyes, that you can't help but laugh. He is impossible to punish. He finds laughter in every situation, even when I fail miserably at attempting a time out. I actually swatted him on the butt the other day when he repeatedly felt the need to whip a dog bone at me, and he just giggled gleefully. Some days, it's more than I can handle, being the best joke on the planet to a two year old. But most days, it's a compliment.

My son's newest talent is screaming. Not tantrums, though he's good at those, too, but earth-shattering, eardrum rupturing, window crackling screams. So high pitched that the dogs run for cover and the neighbors car alarms go off. And they seem to make you momentarily go deaf.

The problem is that I don't know how to make him stop. I've tried ignoring him, yelling back at him, simply going upstairs, telling him no- it doesn't matter. It's all funny. Hilarious, knee-slapping, fall on the floor humor. There is no punishment short of removing laughter that this kid can't find funny. And of course, I end up laughing, too. Well, usually.

I can remember perfectly when he was born, and the cooing and ahhing began, that a woman stopped me in the mall to compliment his adorableness, and then she said "Wait until he discovers that screams echo in the mall. Just wait." This particular comment haunts me. I have avoided the mall like an enema, and all the while I keep thinking, just get it over with. Go. I have not been to the mall in months. I can picture my child, happily screaming as customers clasp their ears in pain, only hoping that their ears are not bleeding.

I cannot wait for this phase to end. I know it will simply be replaced with some other attention-getting toddler amusement, but whatever it is, I can deal. And I will laugh. Screams that amplify by themselves at a pitch that can shatter glass can never end soon enough.