Step On A Crack

Sticky Note To Self: Do NOT go to let the dogs out while wearing slippers. Because what might happen is that you will very ferociously and very ungracefully have your feet slip right out from under you as you start down the stairs. You just might land full force on your ass, back, and head and then continue down the stairs of your deck onto the snow below. You just might sit there, about to throw up from the pain. And then you just might hope to God that you can still feel your legs and you don't need stitches. Then, you may gingerly get up, go back into the house, where everyone is completely unaware you were even outside, and start bawling hysterically from the pain and terror of how bad it could have been. Then, your ass may be the color of a plum the next day and way too sore to sit or do anything productive. So don't wear slippers to let the dogs out again, you dumbass.