7 Days of Torture

Aunt Flow was 7 days late. SEVEN. We have discussed child #2, and I was fairly certain I was ready. Now I know I am.

I just spent a boatload of money on home pregnancy tests, all for a big fat negative each and every morning I was late. And I am never late. So who knows why my body decided this was the month to be late, but it did, and I was. But not anymore.

But those seven days gave me a lot to think about and process. Can I handle two children? How would I handle my business? Would I have to go back to work part time? What on earth do I do when I have only two hands and two children? When my two year old is up every 3 hours, could I juggle that with nursing, no sleep, and an infant that wakes every 3 hours as well AND still be a good mom in the morning? How do I get the contorting, kicking, screaming 2 year old in the car when one hand is holding a baby? Will I ever sleep? Will I ever eat? Will I ever have time for me? Will I ever have time for anything? Am I insane?

But all in all, when Aunt Flow arrived, I kissed my husband happily when he came home from work. I told him that we were not pregnant, and he warily asked if that was a good thing. When I was still all cheerful and happy after numerous cantankerous toddler episodes, he curiously looked at me and said in his "you're up to something" voice, "What do you want?".

And I answered honestly and whole-heartedly with 100% certainty, "A baby."

His eyebrows raised, as he probably thought "umm, I thought we had already decided that a baby was something on the horizon", but didn't say anything. How could I tell him that, up until I was 7 days late, I had doubted that I could do it successfully, much less do it at all! But thanks to Aunt Flow showing up a bit off schedule, now I know.

I want a baby.