5 weeks 2 days

That's as far as we got. I began to miscarry last night. I spent the majority of the night in the ER, which only confirmed what I already knew- that this pregnancy wasn't going well.

I knew almost from the beginning that something wasn't right. I prefaced baby conversations with "if nothing goes wrong". I haven't bought any baby clothes or maternity pants. I only marked my calendar to 12 weeks, thinking that if something went wrong, I'd have a lot of white out to use. I just knew. I wasn't like that with my son- I was the opposite. With him, I knew all was right.

I'm sad, but I'm ok. We'll try again. I just hope the next one doesn't take 18 months. And I need to figure out a way to tell Evan that doesn't scare him. Any suggestions are welcome.