The Rollercoaster

So, for Father's Day, I was able to give hubby this:

Now, before you go and get all excited, let me caution you to proceed with optimism and nothing more at this point. As of today, I'm at 5 weeks and 4 days. Officially 2 days more than the last pregnancy. Yesterday I was on cloud nine because we made it past 5 weeks, 2 days, but now I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

This month has been closely monitored, as I began my fertility testing. Cycle Day 3 testing for FSH levels was normal. CD21 testing for progesterone was normal. Then, on CD 29 or so, I got a faint positive on my test. I called the doc and scheduled a beta hcg test right away. The results? 5. The nurse said they wouldn't even call it a positive until hcg levels reached 20. So I got to go in for more blood work 4 days later. Hcg was 15. Now, the doc's want to see your level double every 48-72 hours, so it did- doubling time of 2.52 days, but still not officially "positive". Thank god I brought my digital pee stick in to the doc, because their urine test was negative. That brings on a flurry of appointments, let me warn you. So, Friday I went in for more blood, and this time they tested my progesterone, the hormone that "keeps" the pregnancy, and that came back as an hcg of 59 (doubling time of 1.51 days! Yay!), but progesterone was low- only 8.4, where they want to see at least 15. So now, I'm on progesterone supplements, which may or may not help. If this one is not meant to be, it won't save it. If it is meant to be, it just might, but not guaranteed. See why I said not to get excited?

I bought a slew of cheapie pregnancy tests online, and have been testing daily to watch the lines get darker- as your hcg rises, pregnancy tests pick up more of the hormone, making the "positive" line darker. Today I'm a little freaked because it seems lighter to me. I have more blood work and an ultrasound tomorrow to rule out an ectopic or problematic pregnancy, so I'll just have to wait and see. I hate the highs and lows. We're not telling anyone this time (well, you know what I mean), until we get to 12 weeks. I hope we do. Cross your fingers, say a prayer, whatever it is you do- I'd be grateful if you would throw some positive mojo in this little bean's direction right now.