Why Apple Should Rule The Free World (or maybe the whole thing)

Let me start out by saying that I haven't always loved Apple. I learned how to use a giant dinosaur of a computer in the 5th grade by playing the Oregon Trail in the computer learning center- and each one had a giant rainbow apple with a bite taken out of it on the front. We learned to map out pixels to make a picture and then, because printers were really expensive, had to wait for ONE printer to print out all of our pictures. The machines were huge, and somewhat loud, but boy oh boy, we lived in upper middle class suburbia, so we were the lucky ones. Some kids had not idea what a computer even looked like.

In middle school and high school, computers became more mainstream, but we still typed papers on my electric word processor that was the shit compared to my friends old type-writers that had been handed down by their mothers. I had "rich" friends who had giant computers at home, but they paid a good $6000 for those systems. I was in luck, however, because by my graduation, Intel had become mainstream in computers as well, and my parents felt that me being the first kid to go to college in the family deserved a Personal Computer. So we went to Best Buy and bought an HP package that ran my parents $2700. They couldn't afford that. But they wanted me to be able to work in my room whenever I wanted so that I could get the most out of college- and I did. Emails to my boyfriend on dial-up, music on the cd player, Minesweeper at 2am when that paper was due at 7am. I definitely used it whenever I wanted. I even had an awesome color printer that only took up half the desk! I was in love with my PC. I had forgotten all about my very first Apple experience. Then I decided to major in Advertising...

My second run-in with an Apple computer was in the computer lab my second year of college. I was a year ahead of the game, slated to graduate in 3 years total, so I was working with kids who had already had a year of Mac lab. I didn't quite understand the whole Mac/PC thing quite yet. But in about 5 minutes, I was hooked on Macs. These computers were so... simple! But you could do anything! And they crashed only once in a while, not daily. And things made sense, and you could find programs and extras and... well, you didn't have to be some computer geek to understand how to get around one. I loved the Mac Lab, and began spending more and more time working on the school's computers versus my own. When I graduated from college and moved into the "Real World", I happily handed my computer over to my brother, and bought a used Mac for $300. I loved it.

In the last 10 years since then, I've only had Macs. They are still hand-me-downs, usually bought from my husband's company, which only buys the best of the best Macs on the market every 2-3 years. I can't wait for the day I can buy a brand new Mac. I did get an ibook brand new, and it was beautiful until the motherboard blew out and it was no longer under warranty. Needless to say, it is a beautiful shelf filler in my closet now. But I didn't hold that against Mac. I suspect it had something to do with my husband not zipping up my laptop bag before slinging it over his shoulder and sending my laptop flying onto the granite tile some 10 feet away. Poor little Mac. My business recently had a pc laptop donated to it, on which I write this now. It does the job it needs to do- like run software not sold in Mac format- and that's it. I prefer the Mac over the PC in all fields, except I can't haul the Mac down to the couch to type in comfort.

So, back to why the free world should be ruled by Apple. Ah, yes. I bought an iphone yesterday. My job entails I have access to phone and email pretty much whenever I am awake. So I needed to decide- Blackberry or iphone. Guess who won? My iphone experience was something out of a dream. I walked into the store to research my product. I was treated with respect immediately, handed information immediately, literally got to see the answers to my questions on a Mac screen so I could remember how to do it myself, and was not rushed out of the store when I told them I needed to research the Blackberry, too. Yes, I researched the Blackberry, too, and I got some half-assed answers from some semi-interested kids who sort of knew what they were or were not talking about. Sort of. It was like black and white between the two options, mostly because of the sales end of things. So, back to the Apple Store.

And it was like a dream yet again. A really, really good one. The first time hadn't been some facade to get me to think the Mac people knew what they were doing. I went in, I was served immediately by a very skinny man with moussed hair and tight jeans (why, oh, why are those back in style? Yuck!) who was polite, smiley but not in a fake used car salesman way, answered all my questions, and the kicker- registered me and checked me out exactly in the place where our conversation began- in the middle of the store by the giant table of iphone demos. Everything he did was on a hand-held computer the size of a graphing calculator. I never had to go to a "check out"- the same guy who helped me from the minute I walked in the store also made sure he finished my transaction. I literally bought, registered, transferred my phone number, and set-up my iphone in about 15 mintues flat. Without feeling rushed. Do you remember the last time you went to buy your new cellphone? Well, this is waaaaay different. The efficiency and streamlined process just about blew me away. I kept waiting for the "wait, m'am, now you need to step over into this line of 400 people" or "oops, hold on, let me call customer service." But it never came.

I'm thinking the next President should have Apple come to the Whitehouse to overhaul a few things. I'm not kidding. The experience of buying something so complex was so incredibly streamlined and well-thought out that I think Apple should definitely be the WhiteHouse's new technology go-to company. I mean, if Apple ruled the free world, we might actually get somewhere in an orderly, well-timed fashion. I can already imagine such stupid day to day things like Rush Hour and lines to the women's bathroom and, good god, dealing with the cable company- all beng run like a Mac store. Can you imagine? No more rush hour? Cable fixed in mere minutes by someone who actually knows what they are doing? Ok, you can tell that I am in the euphoric stages of love, but still. I'm so incredibly impressed, it will last forever. I will forever recommend you go to an Apple Store. Truly, it's the way shopping was meant to be.

Apple, I love you.