A Bad Report Card

It seems our wonderful 3 1/2 year old whiz kid is causing some trouble at school. We received a breakdown of is, ahem, "bad" behaviors on Tuesday, which is totally stressing me out. To review, Evan is:

1. Saying "I don't want to!"
2. Would not (or could not?) cut out his art project.
3. Is being aggressive towards other kids.
4. Would not clean up his area.
5. Wanted to go home and do "boring things".

Personally, I see only one total problem with this list and it is simple insubordination. Evan does not want to do what the teachers ask of him.

Seeing the concern in the teachers' eyes, I took Evan home after our review and put him at the table with his craft stuff. I said, "Your teachers don't think you can do this. Cut that out, and glue it to the paper like you should have in school." And he did. Very well, despite the difficult cutting pattern the teacher had done on purpose. Then, because I'm a bitch, I drew up a whole bunch of shapes, made Evan cut them out and paste them onto an "I'm sorry card" to bring to his teachers today. Yep, my kid can use scissors all right. That was a definite "would not".

Next, we addressed the "aggression", which was defined as "everything turns into a gun or a sword at playtime". Okaaaaay. Now, he's a boy, with nothing but older boys in the family, so this will be a tough one. But, no more gun play at home or with friends until he understands the zero tolerance that schools have towards this. I understand, but thankfully he's not actually hurting anyone.

The teachers were worried about him wanting to go home and "do boring things". I laughed, which I probably shouldn't have, but whenever Evan balks at going somewhere, I say, "why would you want to stay home and do boring things? Let's go do something fun!" or, I tell him I will only do boring things without him while he is at school, since he worries that he is missing out. When I explained where he got that from, and he was obviously saying he didn't want to be at school, they looked relieved.

Now the whole "I don't want to" and "not cleaning up his area" is pure rebellion. He tries it at home every day. When I asked them what they do when he says that or doesn't listen, there doesn't seem to be a clear cut punishment or consequence. Today, he refused to do his art project again, so he sat at the table and did nothing the whole time. Seems to me, he got his way. Of course, today his aggression was taken out on two St. Patty's Day hats, which he stomped on an smooshed, much to the teacher's dismay. I asked if he apologized, they said no, so I refused to let Evan leave for the day until he did- it took 15 minutes or so, but he finally said he was sorry.

My main concern about all of this is that he's bored out of his mind of coloring letters he already knows and cutting out shapes and sticking them to paper. Maybe I'm thinking he's more advanced than he is, but when his classmates are having trouble counting to 11, and he counts to 100 on his own, I worry he's bored. When they are trying to remember what comes after 15, he's doing subtraction at night with daddy- his new favorite activity (yeah, he totally gets that from dad). He's reading level 2 books on his own and tries to read every word he sees. Today at school, while we were waiting for an apology, he noticed the number 11 was missing out of 25 cards on the wall that were placed in numeric order. Seriously, tell me he's not bored in some way.

My husband thinks he's just being difficult and stubborn, as he has always been. The teachers probably think he has a behavior or learning disorder. I think he's trying to tell us something but does not have the maturity level to get it across. Regardless, the other kids file in and sit down and do what they are told. Evan tells them "No! I don't want to!" and gets away with it. How do I work with that?

I went online searching for advanced curriculum for 3-4 year olds in our area. I choked at the $16,000 a year tuition at the school nearest to us. Seriously, there has to be a place that works with advanced kids that does not cost as much as college! How the hell do people afford that? They had a page on taking out student loans- for a 3 year old??? I value his education more than anything else, but come on. I think being able to eat is up there with education.

So, for now, I'll keep working with him at home and we'll keep chipping away at his behavior issues at school. But at home today, he said, "mommy, let's pretend like we are explorers on the planet Mars!" And I said, "Ok!". And then I immediately thought about how little I knew about that planet! Sigh. I better start educating myself to keep up with him.