The Winds Of Change

Firstly, I would like to say "thanks!!!!" to everyone who had every appendage crossed for us. It has finally paid off!

Now, the big news. And the other big news.

The big news is that we just closed on our new house. It's awesome. It's huge. It has a ginormous yard. And now, it's ours. I'm so excited I could wet my pants. What do we do first? Paint? Yes. Clean? Yes. New kitchen? Umm, not yet. New bathrooms? Umm, not yet. Fix the fence? Yes. Oh, the list! It's so long and fun and exhausting, I can't stand it! Yay!

The other big news is that our townhouse is now under contract! We received TWO offers on our house, but one was leaps and bounds ahead of the other one. Why? BECAUSE THEY OFFERED US OUR ASKING PRICE! Seriously. We're still spinning, and as long as the bottom doesn't fall out of this deal, we CAN redo a bathroom or two at the new place! Yay!

So, side story about slimy Realtors and another reason we chose to go the for sale by owner route:

A guy comes to our door the afternoon before "the offer". He says, "Hi, are you folks still cooperating with Realtors?" I say yes, we will. He says, "Great! I just need you to sign this contract, as I have some clients who would like to see your house." He waives a piece of paper under my nose, and then thrusts it at me with a pen. I say, um, no, I'm not signing jack. He says he understands and gets all flustered. So, to be polite, I say it doesn't really matter, as it will be under contract by end of week. He says, "Right, with THE NAME OF THE CHICK WHO JUST PUT IN THE OFFER."

I look stunned, and he continues: "When she came to your open house, she said she was working with a realtor. I get 2.5% of this sale, and of course, she has a contingency that she needs to sell her condo first. So I need you to sign this contract." Of course, Offer Lady mentioned zero of this, and I am livid. I refuse to sign again, and tell him that he has not been present during any part of this transaction. He insists he is her realtor anyway, and he gets a cut. So I tell him, "Well, that impacts her offer dramatically, and we may end up going with the other offer then." He looks surprised with a capital UH-OH, since they didn't know we had another offer on the table. I suggest to leave the contract and I'll fax it to my real estate lawyer. He leaves the contract with me, and I file in it the big round filing cabinet marked "garbage".

Fast forward to 5pm that evening. I receive a phone call from Offer Lady, apologizing profusely for Realtor Idiot who showed up at our house. It seems that, not only does this guy not have a signed contract with her to sell her house yet, but that she explicitly told him that he had nothing to do with her purchasing this house. Zero. She could not have been more upset or embarrassed. I politely suggested she fire his shady ass and then reassured her we wouldn't hold the visit by Realtor Idiot against her. We've met a lot of shady Realtors in this journey, but he takes the cake.

So, that's it folks. The winds are changing, and soon the address will be, too! I'm so excited!

Holding Our Breath...

We may have a good one for the house. Everyone cross your fingers HARD!

We had a bazillion people through our townhome yesterday, which was great, and everyone had really positive feedback. 5 of our visits were second-timers, so we're hopeful. Really hopeful. Two even brought with an entire parade of family members.

I hope I have good news soon. Really, truly hope!

UCLA Study

UCLA STUDY:

A study conducted by UCLA's Department of Psychiatry has revealed that the kind of face a woman finds attractive on a man can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.

For example: If she is ovulating, she is attracted to men with rugged and masculine features. However, if she is menstruating, or menopausal, she tends to be more attracted to a man with duct tape over his mouth and a spear lodged in his chest while he is on fire.

No further studies are expected.

Dear God...

Please let somebody buy our house this weekend.

Amen.

In Three Months...

My baby will be 3 years old. Is that possible?

He is an amazing kid. He's funny, he's witty, he's smart and affectionate. I don't think kids get any better than this. I am constantly amazed at how much a being can learn in less than three years. I try to remember that he's still just a little tyke, but sometimes it's hard. He speaks in full sentences. This morning he got up and said, "My cup is full of juice. I don't like that juice. Can I have Chocolate Milk Please?" as if he'd been speaking English for years, versus about 9 months.

The other day, he counted to 57, just because he likes to count. He sings his ABC's in various rhythms and crescendos, showing tremenduos talent for music already- thank god he didn't inherit his great-grandfather's tone-deafness! He can write every letter and number by himself, amazing people at parties when he asks for crayons, and instead of scribbling a toddler-like sketch of the world, he asks "How you spell your name?" and proceeds to write it for them. He is on the verge of reading by himself, already skilled in phonics and sounding words out. Last week he was sitting in his carseat, behaving like some spelling bee junkie as we ran errands, yelling, "CAT! C-A-T! CAT!" and continued to spell out various animals and items by memory, just for the heck of it. He repeats virtually everything (including some things mom should remember not to say out loud now!), and uses new words he learned just hours before in a conversation with dad later in the day.

The weather is getting nicer and warmer, and soon we'll be moving out of this house that he was born in. The house where he has learned how to be a little human in the last 2 3/4 years. It will be sad, but a new adventure that I hope brings him great things- new friends, more fun, more learning. I hope that he loves his new room, which he gets to pick out all by himself, and I hope the new house brings him a new brother or sister to teach everything he's already learned. I can't wait to play soccer in our backyard, ride bikes on an actual sidewalk - A SIDEWALK (we don't have those now!), to be in a neighborhood with KIDS! I hope he learns and grows even more as a person with more room to stretch.

I know he's only 2-3/4, but for me, he's such a little man already. Yesterday he burped and said "Excuse me!" without any prompting, and he often says "OH THANK YOU! I LOVE DIS (fill in the blank with whatever he is holding)!" when he is given some little trinket or gift. He pats my face and smiles just because, or when I'm mad, he flashes a big silly toothy grin and says "BEEEEE HAAAAPPPY!!!!". I love every second of his life, including the tantrums and the sleepless nights we still occasionally have.

In three months, my son will be three years old. They have, quite honestly, been the best three years of my life. And there is no way he'll ever understand until he has kids of his own. Isn't that the way it goes?

Another Pet Peeve

Because I am a bitch.

If you're going to talk on your Bluetooth in the wind, don't fucking call me. I can't hear a word you're saying, and all I get is an earful of wind and static. And no, I don't want to talk to you for 20 minutes because you can hear me just fine but I have to keep saying "I can't hear you. Call me back later."

Call me from a landline, dammit.

I'll be out of the funk soon. I just hate stupid people today.

A Hard Day

Forgive me if this is a preachy one, but today was a hard day.

One of my pet peeves in this world is lack of responsibility. I'm not talking you forgot to pick up the milk after work or your underwear is still in the dryer four days after you dried it, but REAL lack of responsibility. And today, my pet peeve is abandoned pets.

Today I had to look deep into the eyes of, not one but, two animals and tell them they were loved, they were beautiful, and it would be ok, as our vet put a needle into their vein and sent them onto a forever sleep where, I can only hope, life is better.

The first animal was a dog with aggression issues towards humans, i.e. a Biter, who was sweet when she wanted to be, and wanted to take a chunk out of your arm if that suited her as well. It just depended on the situation. This dog was rescued from dying a terrible death in a filthy pound on a concrete floor in a gas chamber in Ohio, and came here to be rehabbed, vetted, and sent onto her happy life. Oh, how I wish. Instead, it became obvious that this unlucky little Fido was in the pound for a reason- whether her owner turned her loose on purpose or just never came to get her on purpose- she likes to bite people. But instead of the owner doing the responsible thing and having her humanely euthanized, she became my problem instead. And that's not fair to me or to her. She deserved to have her person standing there beside her today, not me. And I deserve to not have to be the person standing beside her.

The second animal was a cat with fatty liver disease. A purr machine and sweet as could be, this cat had no faults, other than a crappy owner who abandoned her, leaving her with a roommate who has migraine-inducing cat-allergies, and had to give her up. The stress of her new environment no doubt exacerbated her condition, leaving her to vomit if you even looked at her and miserable to the core. The roommate did not know about the condition, but it wasn't his place to- the fuckhead owner who abandoned the poor cat should have been the one standing in my place today. Had this cat not been taken out of it's home, it's comfort zone, she would still be with us today. She deserved that.

Day in and day out, I deal with the slime pet owners of the world. Those who rent a new "no pets allowed" apartment and suddenly remember they had a cat for 10 years. Or those who have kids and suddenly don't have time to scoop a litterbox. Or those who work for a living and suddenly don't have time to throw a scoop of dog food in a bowl and let the dog out in the morning. Those who simply can't tolerate that Fido is getting old and needs to go out more than twice a day now. Those who beat their animals, leave them out in the cold, and those who just don't care- animals are nothing but possessions, to be thrown away when no longer useful. I hate these people. These people who shirk real responsibility like a coat in warm weather. I hate them. Especially today.

I told a woman over the weekend that I wish someone would put me out of business. That there were so few abandoned animals that dog and cat rescues weren't needed, were archaic. What a dream. Instead, today I was the last person on earth that this dog and cat saw, the last person on earth that told them I loved them, the last person on earth to kiss their foreheads as the slipped into the Forever. I hope they didn't hear me, but heard the people they loved before me, and I hope that, in some drug-induced way, I was whoever it was they loved most on this earth. They deserved that.

My heart hurts tremendously. Today was not fair to me nor to them. Today was a very hard day.

Step On A Crack

Sticky Note To Self: Do NOT go to let the dogs out while wearing slippers. Because what might happen is that you will very ferociously and very ungracefully have your feet slip right out from under you as you start down the stairs. You just might land full force on your ass, back, and head and then continue down the stairs of your deck onto the snow below. You just might sit there, about to throw up from the pain. And then you just might hope to God that you can still feel your legs and you don't need stitches. Then, you may gingerly get up, go back into the house, where everyone is completely unaware you were even outside, and start bawling hysterically from the pain and terror of how bad it could have been. Then, your ass may be the color of a plum the next day and way too sore to sit or do anything productive. So don't wear slippers to let the dogs out again, you dumbass.

WHY?

Why schedule to see our house and then cancel. Cancel! Both people coming to see our house have canceled, so now it's just back to the open house. If you've been to my house, can you tell me WHY? If you want the virtual tour, email me, and I'll send you the link.

Honestly, just don't bother if you're just going to cancel. For Skunk's Sake, I've got shit to do.