Knocked Up

No, not me. We saw the movie last night. Hilarious. Totally, true to life (well, minus the hollywood bit), funny.

When we got pregnant with Evan, we weren't expecting it. I was on the pill, we were only talking marriage, and life was still open to wherever the wind took us. So this movie was even funnier with some bits that I completely recalled in our situation.

But that movie and our sort-of-trying-without-trying status got me thinking today. What IF Evan hadn't happened then? What if we were only trying now? What if these past 3 years plus the 9 months had been baby-free? Scary thought. I don't really want to think about it. Anyway, back to the movie.

There's one scene in the movie where every pregnancy stick in the store it bought, and every one turns positive, so they keep trying for a negative, as if the majority were lying. Seriously, I did the same thing. I kept peeing on sticks, thinking they were wrong! Now I pee on sticks, hoping to God the negative is wrong. Crazy how the world turns on its head sometimes. Of course, with a husband working 80 hours a week right now, I don't expect any stick to ACTUALLY turn positive, but a day or two before my period, I try anyway, knowing it may not show up yet even if it were going to be positive. The pregnancy test part was just far too amusing.

The characters are real flawed-like people who are tossed into a situation that happens in everyday life. Nothing was neat or tidy, and at times, the movie is quite vulgar, but you feel for the main characters, even when they are being idiots. You just can't help it.

So, not really an in-depth review of a movie, but two thumbs up anyway. If you've ever been pregnant, want to be pregnant, or even just had a pregnancy scare, this movie will make you laugh. You may even find yourself just thinking, "oh crap!" what if that HAD happened that one time??? Great movie.

Rantalicious

Rant # 1: On Competency

Let me preface this by saying, I often drop the ball. I forget to call people back, forget birthdays, miss due dates, etc. I understand that such things happen to everyone, including me. However, I'm beginning to believe that incompetency rules the world, and the rest of us are just screwed.

Case in point (or should I say cases): Comcast. I call to tell them we need wireless DSL for multiple computers. No problem, they say! First, they send me the do-it-yourself kit. Then they call and say, Wait! You don't have cable! You can't do it yourself! We must charge you more! Then, technician #1 comes to my house, installs my DSL, leaves me without a password to actually USE my DSL, and tells me that the company will be out in a week to bury the cable. When I call to say my wireless isn't working, nor can I get into my accounts because Jorge left me without a password, they say, Oh? Wireless? Oh, you need a different set up! We must charge you more! Tech #2 comes out, replaces everything, and says the company will be out in a week to bury the cable. Well, that was 6 weeks ago- guess where the cable is? Yep, in the way of the lawn mower every week.

Next. Artesian Springs. Called to offer free water testing. We say yes, sure. 2 separate people call to confirm the time, date, and address. Saturday comes and goes, no call, no appointment kept, no Artesian Springs. We waste 2 hours of a Saturday waiting for them. A week later they call. Sorry we missed you, would you like to reschedule for Saturday? I go off, telling them to go to hell, and they apologize for the "miscommunication"- looks like we have your address wrong! When I ask what was wrong with the phone number he just called me at on Saturday, he had no excuse. "But ma'am, are you sure you don't want us to come out? It's free." Fuck off.

Those are just 2 examples of what we have been dealing with at the new house. We love the house, hate the workers. They are all morons. Is it possible? Is no one capable of doing the job they agree to do? I mean, seriously, if you can't install cable, don't work for the fucking cable company. If you can't keep appointments, don't work for a company that schedules them.

Oh, and Home Warranties are worthless. You might as well wipe your ass with them. They charge you $60 each time to tell you your claim is denied because the previous owner didn't care for/repair properly/maintain properly. And the guy who comes out out to deny your claim tries to bribe you to push your claim through. No joke. When you call to report said guy, no one seems to care.


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My job is one where I have to deal with a lot of idiots. I do a lot of hand-holding and talking to people like they are 3 years old. I hate that part of it. I suck at it. I'd rather tell people to grow up and face reality, but I can't. What I don't understand is how many people call, listen to our message explaining the options before them, and leave a message asking for exactly what our message says they cannot have. Many of them call more than once, ask repeatedly, as if they must be special or magical or something more than who they are. THEN I have to call these people back, repeat exactly what it is our message told them in the first place, and WASTE MY TIME. Nothing pisses me off more than wasted time. Stop calling me if you can'ty understand english, because I'm not very fluent in idiot.

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When someone dies, don't try to take their place. It irks me that you even think it might work.

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When driving, if you see a loooong line of cars on the he left, already going 75 miles an hour, don't try to pass on the right. Because you can't get very far with all the trucks going 70 miles an hour, and you haven't seemed to figure out that every time you try to pass, you get stuck behind a truck and end up right behind the car you were trying to pass the LAST 8 times you tried to do that. Pretty soon, we're going to start fucking with you, like we did today, because you're an idiot, and you don't learn. Seriously, I stopped counting how many trucks you got stuck behind in a fruitless effort to get ahead.

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Ahhhh, I feel better. What a shitty week. And it's only Tuesday. I hope you are all having a better week than me.

3 And Counting

On June 6, 2004, you decided to come into this world a few days before scheduled, upside down and in your way of yelling at the tops of your lungs and then looking around to see what you were yelling about. Our world changed dramatically, but it is so much better with you being in it.

One year ago, you could barely talk. When you turned two, it was like someone turned on the vocabulary faucet and the words just started pouring out. It was so fun to talk to you! Really talk, with a response. Your expressions and descriptions are a source of constant amusement for us, and we eat it up.

What many people don't know is that you are my assistant, my partner in crime, my confidant, my best buddy. Not a day goes by where you are not right here, helping me to grow as I help you to grow. You have taught me more about myself in these last 3 years than I could ever thank you for. Like how to find laughter in just about every situation. To leave when you are ready. To stay up late if it means you can be with your friends. To sometimes eat a cookie over a vegetable. To demand fairness loudly and often. To speak up when I think something is not right. To call someone out on their bullshit, even if it is in the middle of a dinner party. To learn how to play nicely with others, even if you don't really like them. To dance enthusiastically when something goes your way, even for something as simple as getting the car in the new garage for the first time. To tell someone you love them when they are sad or having a bad day. To say I love you as a bold declaration each and every time you say it. You have taught me all of this and so much more.

At 3 years old, you are now a little boy. You frequently tell me so. You can hold conversations with the 10 year old next door, constantly impress the bankers with your counting skills, you can write the whole alphabet without help and can write all your numbers up to 20. You have insane talent in the word recognition department ("Look mom! That word says alphabet!" "Look! That word says improvement!") and want to read so badly that you will pick up any book, magazine, or piece of mail and try to find a word you know. You sing loudly and on key to entire songs while whittling away the time in your room or outside. Your toys have entire conversations now instead of just crashing into each other. Your sentence structures are that of a child much older and other parents often ask incredulously how old you are.

Of course, you are still 3. You have melt downs on a whim and test my patience on a daily basis. You spill juice while trying to pour it yourself and then wipe it up with your socks that are still on your feet, and then continue to walk through the house. You tip things over just to see how big the mess is, and find all sorts of ways to impress upon me that you still need me. And believe me, kid, I love every minute.

Happy Birthday, kiddo. I love you bunches.

Sniff Sniff... AAAHHH!

We went to Bed Bath & Beyond this weekend to try and find some stuff for the new house. Evan was insane with touching, poking, pulling and all the fun stuff that comes with not being tied down to a shopping cart.

The last thing we needed was some candles for our fireplace (aka the ugly burn box), to spruce up the inside until we have some real money to make it look nicer. Evan was in sniff heaven, picking up candles of all sizes, shapes and colors (on a side note- he still blows out through his nostrils like a horse to smell- hilarious each time, but not when a snot rocket comes flying out!). We are looking at some nicer candle arrangements, when he comes flying around the corner all excited.

"Mommy! Mommy! Look At DIS one!"
"That's beautiful, Evan! What color is it?"
"It's GEEEN!"
"Wow! What does that green candle smell like?"
*Sniff Sniff*
(thoughtful pause)
"GEEEN BEANS!"

Oh, I have never laughed so hard over a candle. It was fabulous.