It's Pouring...

Well, you all know the old saying, "When it rains...". Yep, it's pouring.

2 Days before moving day, I was packing up the kitchen to move everything this weekend, and I heard Evan gag. I was around the corner, so I flew sideways just as he gagged once more, and a lovely shiny dime landed on the ground. With all of my packing, his piggy bank had been moved within reach, and he had taken it upon himself to open the bottom, get the change out, and proceed to insert coins into his mouth. Why? Who knows. The kid has been depositing coins into his piggy bank for over a year now- always under supervision of course. Not once has he decided to deposit a coin into his mouth.

So, I ask him if he's ok, and think we are out of the woods since he 1) obviously spit the coin up and 2) could breathe and talk just fine. I go into the kitchen to get him a sippy cup, and bring it back to him. He tries to take a sip and he gets frustrated and shouts "It's not working!!" and presses his face into the couch. So, we try again, with the same response.

"Evan, did you swallow any of the pennies?"
"No."
"Did you put more than one penny in your mouth?"
"I don't know."
"Does your throat hurt?"
"Yes."
"Show me where."
Evan proceeds to point to that lovely little soft spot on his windpipe. I ask again and he repeats that answer. Awww, shit.

A call to the pediatrician leads to a trip to the urgent care center nearby, where they hold my screaming son down for an xray. Sure enough, there is a nice round metal object lodged in his esophagus. Great. An ambulance is called, which takes AN HOUR to show up (thank god it wasn't an emergency or anything), and the EMT's arrive to take us for our first ambulance ride. Getting Evan in there was NOT fun. They had strapped a toddler seat into the gurney, but I had to convince Evan to get in there.

"Look Buddy! A race car bed! OOOOOHHH! Let's go for a ride!"
"NO, I DON'T WANT TO GO FOR A RIDE. I WANT TO WALK!!!"
Much more convincing ensues, and then I plop him onto the carseat, wrestle to get the harness buckled, and off we go. The whole way to the ambulance he's yelling at the top of his lungs, "YOU TAKE ME OFF OF THIS! I WANT TO WALK! I WANT TO WALK!"

The ambulance ride was quieter, once he realized he could see out the window and watch the cars behind us. He was good all the way to the Pediatric ER where, of course, they want him to have another xray. Oh, the trauma!

So, we wrestle to strip him down, hold him down, and xray his midsection. The coin has not budged, and it is now 3 hours later. So, a specialist is called in, and another xray (oh the joy!) to see how many coins are in there. Surprise! Not one, but TWO coins, stacked on top of each other and traveling down the esophagus sideways. Fun!

My husband finally shows up, the specialist says Evan needs surgery to remove the coins because nature is not letting them work their way into the stomach, where then mother nature would work them straight out into his poop. I'm terrified and hysterical- not to mention, feeling guilty as hell. So, it is decided he can have the surgery NOW and all of a sudden, the room is a flurry of activity.

Evan has not had a nap, is hysterical, and now they want to stick an IV in him. My husband is holding him down, they get the first IV in his hand, which he promptly tears out. Blood everywhere, hysterical child, hysterical mother, very stern nurses lecturing my husband for not holding him tight enough, and they attempt another IV. The whole time, Evan is screaming "YOU LET GO OF MY HAND, LADY! YOU DON'T HURT ME! LET ME GO NOW! I WANT TO GO HOME!" Enough to break my heart daily for the next 10 years.

Fast forward a bit- the surgery takes about 20 minutes, and they extract 2 little dimes, which I have on display in a jar on the top of my refridgerator (where Evan cannot reach them). The nurses warn us that between 2 and 4 years old, the kids wake up from the anethesia just absolutely wild and angry. This was an understatement. Evan was insane. Thrashing, screaming, hitting, yelling, flailing- for about 30 minutes. They finally gave him a shot of Demerol, and the world became suddenly peachy for the kid. Surgery was forgotten, a popsicle was eaten, and all was right with the world again. He talked to all the nurses, introduced himself repeatedly, watched a little Animal Planet (likening the mustache on the walrus to Daddy's mustache), and was just a big happy ball of kid again.

We got to take him home that same night, where you would never know he had just gone through all of this. He ate a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and some cheese, gulped down some chocolate milk and crashed for the night after a good amount of Cars playtime.

The only residual is when I tell the story, Evan starts to get nervous, and says "What are you talking about???" repeatedly, and then when he remembers, he says, "WE DON'T EAT THOSE!IT'S BAD!"

Happy Belated Earth Day!

So, yesterday was Earth Day, and in honor of that, I'm going a little greener.

Now, it's not Earth Day, really, that is making me go greener, but the whole pet food scare. After doing lots of research, it's disgusting what is "allowed" into our country for US to eat!!! Yuck! So, we are going organic for 30 days in this house, and we're going to see where we are at healthwise and cost-wise when all is said and done.

This grand goal includes eating organic, no fast food (pizza is excluded while we are moving this weekend!), and all household chemicals will be pitched! In addition, we're going to plant some trees in the new yard (this may happen post-30 days, but still!).

There are a ton of simple things that we can do every day in order to conserve and help Mother Earth. Here's a few of goals :

1. Wash EVERYTHING in cold water only. Despite what Mama used to say, hot water doesn't kill jack unless you have a special washing machine that has a "sanitize" cycle. Your washing machine water only gets as hot as your hot water heater, and I'm betting most of us don't have it set to "Boil", do we? After a little research, if you want to kill bacteria or dust mites or have allergies, you simply need to DRY your clothes and bedsheets on HIGH in the dryer for 10 minutes. 10 minutes versus gallons and gallons of hot water makes a difference!!

2. Use compact flourescent bulbs instead of your good old fashioned G.E. bulbs- they save a ton of energy. What that means is that if every one of 110 million American households bought just one ice-cream-cone bulb, took it home, and screwed it in the place of an ordinary 60-watt bulb, the energy saved would be enough to power a city of 1.5 million people. One bulb swapped out, enough electricity saved to power all the homes in Delaware and Rhode Island. In terms of oil not burned, or greenhouse gases not exhausted into the atmosphere, one bulb is equivalent to taking 1.3 million cars off the roads. Holy Geez! I'm SOLD! Let's get those bad boys installed people!

3. Use rechargable batteries. Although they may cost more to buy, rechargable batteries will save you 10 or 20 times the original cost (by not buying new batteries over and over again), and not get thrown in the trash. If you're now buying a five-dollar 8-pack of batteries every month, that's a yearly cost of $60. After a little more than a year, your $75 initial investment in the rechargeable setup will be paid for, and the next 10 years of battery use will be free. Over that period, you would save $600! And it will be 1,000 fewer disposable batteries going into your nearby landfill or incinerator. Being the proud mother of a battery-consuming 2 year old, I can attest to how much money we have saved by purchasing the rechargeables. My goal is to upgrade to "C" and "D" batteries in the next 30 days. We've been recharging "AA" and "A" batteries for a while now and WOW- they last longer use-wise, too!

4. Stop using ziplock bags. This is a hard goal for us, as with a toddler, it's amazingly easy to use these little plastic devils. BUT you can't recycle them. Not yet. So each time I throw one out, I'm hurting the environment. So I'm off to buy some fun, smaller tupperware to put chips, cookies, crackers, etc. in and fun square ones for sandwiches. Not only will it make an impact on the environment, but after they pay for themselves, it will save us probably $10 every couple of months on baggies of various sizes. $60 a year times the lifetime of tupperware- Wahoo! We can plant more trees!

5. Use biodegradable doggy poop bags! Stop mummifying your dog’s poop in plastic bags that don’t biodegrade and use a compostable biodegradable BioBag that will compost in a matter of days. Unlike imitation polyethylene plastic bags that “degrade” into small pieces of plastic, BioBags completely biodegrade into rich compost. These dog waste poop bags are certified by the Biodegradable Products Institute, meet ASTM standards and are made from renewable resources. Eco-Products sells BioBag Dog Waste Bags at prices that are competitive with plastic bags. Now there’s truly no reason to be using plastic! Time to Poo-poo the old plastic poop bags!

So there they are, my Earth Saving goals for the near future.

Evanisms

E: What's a brudder?
M: Well, if mommy and daddy had a baby, and it was a boy, it would be your brother. If the baby was a girl, it would be your sister. The baby would live with us and be a part of our family.
E: Family? Lite Untle Brian? An Granma?
M: Right!! But a brother or sister would live in our house with us and grow up with you. Would you like a brother?
E: Yes! A Brudder!
M: Would you like a Sister?
E: Yes! A Sistah!
(Pause)
E: And bowling, too!!

(No, I'm not pregnant).

Ker-THUD!

That would be the sound of the other shoe dropping.

We waited for it. Expected it. Even held our breath. But yet, our hearts still stopped beating for a second as that other shoe dropped.

Fax to sellers (ahem, US): Buyer cannot secure financing. You are shit outta luck.

So, our house is back on the market. We hope to God not for long. Because now we really will be paying two mortgages. The stupid bitch who "bought" our house didn't have good enough credit even for the rip-off places to give her a loan. Nice. Thank you for wasting our time, you fat-ass waste of space.

My stress level has risen exponentially, and Excedrin Migraine has yet again become my best friend.

Somebody pass me a drink, quick.

Tainted Wheat Gluten Sold As "Food Grade"

A great article by horsesass.org is posted below. As of today, you better believe I'm checking everything we eat for wheat gluten. I have a feeling, we'll be eating organic meat, fruits and veggies and not much else. We may become health nuts afterall. When millions of Americans find out they may have eaten chemicals that can cause kidney failure, we're going to see something catastrophic happen...

Tainted wheat gluten sold as “food grade”
by Goldy, 04/01/2007, 5:00 PM

Del Monte Foods has confirmed that the melamine-tainted wheat gluten used in several of its recalled pet food products was supplied as a “food grade” additive, raising the likelihood that contaminated wheat gluten might have entered the human food supply.

“Yes, it is food grade,” Del Monte spokesperson Melissa Murphy-Brown wrote in reply to an e-mail query. Del Monte issued a voluntary recall Saturday for several products under the Gravy Train, Jerky Treats, Pounce, Ol’ Roy, Dollar General and Happy Trails brands.

Wheat gluten is sold in both “food grade” and “feed grade” varieties. Either may be used in pet food, but only “food grade” gluten may be used in the manufacture of products meant for human consumption. Published reports have thus far focused on tainted pet food, but if the gluten in question entered the human food supply through a major food products supplier and processor, it could potentially contaminate thousands of products and hundreds of millions of units nationwide.

Stephen F. Sundlof, director of the Food and Drug Administration’s Center for Veterinary Medicine said the FDA is not aware of any contaminated gluten that went into human food but said he could not confirm this “with 100 percent certainty.” Wheat gluten is a common food additive used as a thickener, dough conditioner, and meat substitute. It is widely used as an additive in commercial bakery items and special purpose flours.

The FDA announced today that it has traced the contaminated wheat gluten to a single processor, Xuzhou Anying Biological Technology of Peixian, China, but has not released the name of the U.S. distributor who supplied the product to Del Monte, Menu Foods, Nestle Purina, and Hills Nutritional. In all, more than 70 brands and over 60 million cans and pouches of dog and cat food are now part of this massive recall, as well as at least one brand of dry cat food.
Public statements have indicated that the contaminated gluten was distributed by a single U.S. company, but since the FDA refuses to name the supplier, it is not yet known if this company also supplies human food manufacturers. It is also not yet known if Xuzhou Anying sells direct to food manufacturers in the U.S. or abroad.

While cats seem particularly susceptible to the effects of melamine poisoning, there is little research on the substance’s human toxicity. Unless and until the FDA determines otherwise, one cannot help but wonder if our sick and dying cats are merely the canary in the coal mine alerting us to a broader contamination of the human food supply.

(In a great related post to this article: http://www.horsesass.org/?p=2761)