A Note To Theives

If you are going to steal a camera, LEAVE THE FUCKING MEMORY CARD. You are stealing people's memories for a few measly bucks to snort up your nose. Fuck you. You stole 6 different events in my sons life from our memory books, and I fucking hate you for it. Take the camera. Leave the memory card.

The Ride Has Ended

HCG came back only 25. Looks like miscarriage #2 is on its way.

I'm so angry at my body.

To add to it, our car was broken into last night, and my ipod, hubby's cellphone, and my digital camera were stolen. What pisses me off is Evan's first t-ball pics, his 4th birthday pics, and lots of others have been stolen from me.

I hate today.

Rollercoaster Part 2

Ultrasound results: inconclusive.

The tech couldn't see a darn thing, but did confirm I have a tilted uterus. Maybe that's why Evan was breech? Either way, you can't see anytihng on ultrasound until hcg is between 1000-2000. I was at 59 on Friday, but I think my doc was using this to rule out "other" causes of a positive test, like a tumor or something. I don't know.

Tomorrow I will get my hcg and progesterone results back. Hcg needs to be 250 for me not to freak out in a bad way. Over 300 would be great. Progesterone needs to be over 15. Until then, you know as much as I do. Thanks for thinking good thoughts.

The Rollercoaster

So, for Father's Day, I was able to give hubby this:

Now, before you go and get all excited, let me caution you to proceed with optimism and nothing more at this point. As of today, I'm at 5 weeks and 4 days. Officially 2 days more than the last pregnancy. Yesterday I was on cloud nine because we made it past 5 weeks, 2 days, but now I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.

This month has been closely monitored, as I began my fertility testing. Cycle Day 3 testing for FSH levels was normal. CD21 testing for progesterone was normal. Then, on CD 29 or so, I got a faint positive on my test. I called the doc and scheduled a beta hcg test right away. The results? 5. The nurse said they wouldn't even call it a positive until hcg levels reached 20. So I got to go in for more blood work 4 days later. Hcg was 15. Now, the doc's want to see your level double every 48-72 hours, so it did- doubling time of 2.52 days, but still not officially "positive". Thank god I brought my digital pee stick in to the doc, because their urine test was negative. That brings on a flurry of appointments, let me warn you. So, Friday I went in for more blood, and this time they tested my progesterone, the hormone that "keeps" the pregnancy, and that came back as an hcg of 59 (doubling time of 1.51 days! Yay!), but progesterone was low- only 8.4, where they want to see at least 15. So now, I'm on progesterone supplements, which may or may not help. If this one is not meant to be, it won't save it. If it is meant to be, it just might, but not guaranteed. See why I said not to get excited?

I bought a slew of cheapie pregnancy tests online, and have been testing daily to watch the lines get darker- as your hcg rises, pregnancy tests pick up more of the hormone, making the "positive" line darker. Today I'm a little freaked because it seems lighter to me. I have more blood work and an ultrasound tomorrow to rule out an ectopic or problematic pregnancy, so I'll just have to wait and see. I hate the highs and lows. We're not telling anyone this time (well, you know what I mean), until we get to 12 weeks. I hope we do. Cross your fingers, say a prayer, whatever it is you do- I'd be grateful if you would throw some positive mojo in this little bean's direction right now.

M.I.A.

Sorry for the lack of posts, but we've been super busy! Here's why:

Project: Deckilicious!

Start:


Finish:

We worked on the deck for 3 weeks straight. We stained the wood with solid stain, took down the old railings, built new custom railings, adding landscaping that trails around the back of the house, and solar lights, too. We bought cute little bench cushions and cafe tables, as well as a patio rug. It's way fun to be out there now, and since we won't be traveling this summer, it gives us a great place to hang out! We also had Evan's 4th birthday party outside, and the kids had a blast! I'll post pics of that later. But, here are a few more pics to show you just why it's been so quiet around here:

We landscaped the front, too, by our front door, but I don't have any pictures. I planted, oh, 36 different plants, if you don't count the individual flowers, and let's just say I never want to haul mulch, dig holes, or schlep landscaping stone again! But, we did it all ourselves, so we saved a boatload of money, and George W's stimulus check paid for the rest!